Church "Signs"

These church signs are not original material but if you haven’t read them for a while, I’m sure you’ll find them both witty and wise.

“Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible.”
“The best vitamin for a Christian is B1.”
“Under same management for over 2000 years.”
“Soul food served here.”
“Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk!”
“Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday!”
“Don’t wait for the hearse to take you to church.”
“Life has many choices, Eternity has two. What’s yours?”
“Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due.”
“Wal-Mart isn’t the only saving place!”
“Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.”
“It’s hard to stumble when you’re down on your knees.”
“What part of ‘THOU SHALT NOT’ don’t you understand?”
“A clear conscience makes a soft pillow.”
“The wages of sin is death. Repent before payday.”
“Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive.”
“Can’t sleep? Try counting your blessings.”
“Forbidden fruit creates many jams.”
“Christians, keep the faith…but not from others!”
“Satan subtracts and divides. God adds and multiplies.”
“If you don’t want to reap the fruits of sin stay out of the devil’s orchard.”
“To belittle is to be little.”
“Don’t let the littleness in others bring out the littleness in you.”
“God answers kneemail.”
“Try Jesus. If you don’t like Him, the devil will always take you.”

Did you think they were funny? Do you know any, "Church Signs"? :D