eighteen things i learned in twenty-eighteen

*blows dust off keyboard* hi.  (I remember so many years ago there was a blogger I was following who'd been inactive for a while and when they came back they used that same wording - "blows dust off keyboard." for some reason i've always remembered that and i think this is a more than fitting opportunity to use that) 

So, if you even remember me, well, hi.  Nice to see you again.  It's been exactly 75 days since I last posted on here, and not even going to lie, that was a pretty half-hearted post.  I never thought I'd be the person to just up and out of the blue stop blogging for so long, but ahahhahha....i just did. 

2018 was a year of unparalleled and good growth, but it was the hardest year of my life.

— Autumn (@Autumn_Raelin_) December 22, 2018

This year...well.  It's been one crazy heck of a year.  I'm excited to begin a new year, just to have a fresh slate and to leave 2018 in 2018.  So much transpired this year....and it was hard, like really, depressingly hard so much of the time.  But I grew so much as a person this year.  It's strange to think about the person I was a year ago.  I'm so not the same person.  And I think that's why blogging was so hard for me this year.  I've had this blog for over six years now, and obviously, I've changed along the way, but never as drastically as I did this year, and it was so weird to think about blogging...something that seemed like it was part of a "past" version of me.   I got busy with school and other interests, and I also got Netflix (and am trying to learn how to not procrastinate on that stupid APP UGH).  Overall the past few months have been crazy, boring, growing, and perspective-molding for me.   Blogging kind of got lost underneath it all.

So here I am.  I'm on Christmas break.  My last one in high school.  And I'm trying to pull up a blog post.  To try to recap the past few months, let alone this past year, would be dredging up so many memories, good and bad, and I don't feel like I have the energy and willpower for that haha.  It's unbelievable to remember how much happened this year, and while I am grateful for the life I was given, making a recap post isn't just something I feel like doing this year.

But I learned a lot this year, through the highs and low lows, and I'm grateful to God that He pulled me through on the other side.   So here are a few of the many things I learned this year:

1) Ultimately, life isn't about you.
This year was life-changing in so many different ways.  But, last month something happened that...honestly, still terrifies me.  Long story short, I was a permit holder -- I was planning on going for my driver's license test come January.  On November 10th, me and my dad were headed home, and I was driving.  I took my eyes off the road for a second, unknowingly swerved into the other lane and collided head-on with an oncoming pickup truck.  Needless to say, I no longer have my permit.  Thank God no one was hurt, and surprisingly, everyone was actually so kind...to me.  The accident shook me to my core.  I was shaking.  Apologizing profusely.  It was insane, in the worst way.  Man, even writing about it now shakes me.  It was...terrible, but a wake-up call to my life.  (Surprisingly, the song I had looked down to turn off before I crashed was Wake Me Up by Avicii.  ha. ha.  thanks, God.) I remember sitting in some random (but very kind) neighbor's living room that freezing cold fall morning, looking out the window, shivering, and thinking, there's no point to any of this if I'm not following God.  Wholeheartedly.  I remember sitting in school two days later Monday morning and thinking, wow.  I could've like...not been here today.  I mean, head-on collisions sometimes don't result in continuity of life, if you know what I mean.  The fact that no one was sent to a hospital and we're all here....that's what I call a miracle.  That's what I call the hand of God.  I'm here, literally, because of Him.  He gave me my life; the least I can do is live for Him.  


My life isn't mine to dictate, it's God's.  His will should be the only mandate for my life, y'know? 

2) The steadiest and surest confidence is that confidence rooted in God and nothing else.
This sentiment also stemmed from the accident.  Success (define it how you will...we all have different definitions of the word), for me, is something I believe can only be achieved by being fearless of other people.  That God holds my next breath in His hand is something that was vividly imprinted into my mind after the crash; and in light of that, God's opinion is the only one that really matters in the end, y'know? If I was living right in His eyes.  Because after this life, that's the only thing that's going to matter.  So people's opinions are, frankly, irrelevant.  Do it all for God.  That's the path to success.

3) Each breath is such a gift.  Such a gift. 
Clearly, the accident shook me up a lot.  But in all honesty, that accident completely reversed my perspective on life, so, yes, I feel like I learned so much from it.   Life is an incredible gift, one that many, including myself, take for granted all too often.  How fortunate we are to have breath in our lungs and a chance for a future. How beautifully fragile it is to be human.

4) People's opinions don't matter.  You do you, bravely.  That's what makes life worth it.
Kind of already talked about this, but this is such a big point for me.  If you want to live a worthy life, one that you can be happy with and proud of, you've got to be meaningful and purposeful.  Peer pressure/caring about other people's thoughts isn't going to give you that deep sense of peace and harmony within.  You have to be self-aware.  Don't let other people (who might I add, are people.  not God.) distract or intimidate you from your individual journey. 

You only get what you go for.

5) Your opinions and thoughts will change with you as you grow.
And that's okay.  And good.  I've changed so. dang. much. this year, and it's crazy.  The beginning of this year...the start of so many rebellious feels, sad feels, unsure, scared, fearful, trying-to-figure-my-future-out feels.  This summer...I hate to use the word depression...but in a sense, I believe it was.  I went into the school year with a crazy mindset/perspective.  And then November...poof.  That accident got me shook.   And then December, well, December is December.  crazy month.  a month with a lot of perspective growth. 

Allow yourself room to grow, kiddo.  You're gonna change.  Embrace it.

I went to NYC three times this year (and absolutely fell in love with the city).  This was taken on my first trip there this year in April, en route to Liberty Island.

6) Know your purpose, know why you're here.  Then fire and forget.
In November I went to Inviso Visit Weekend at King's College in NYC (love ya, TKC!), and there was a panel with the president of the college.  Man, that guy had some good thoughts.  The entire point is basically what he said in regards to living in the big apple.  To live in New York City -- your point is not to blend in.  If you want to make it in that city, you can't be aimlessly moping around.  You have to be entrepreneurial, driven, hard-working, motivated.  In my opinion, that applies to anywhere.  Definitely NYC, but success is not exclusive to there.  You can rise anywhere, but the same qualities apply.  Those qualities are the defining factors of what it takes to 'make it.' 

Apparently "fire and forget" was a phrase they had in the military (the president was formerly in the Air Force) and honestly, I thought it really applied to life.  You're gonna evolve.  Do it now.  Learn as you go.  As long as God gives you breath, you have time.  Don't waste it.

I got this quote from a movie recently: "I think you should stop worrying so much about what other people think and just do what you want." How do you achieve goals in life? You've got to tune out distractions, opinions, everything -- and focus on what's important.  

7) The most important matter in life is following God. 
I came home after I wrecked that morning and sat in bed for an hour.  It's crazy how a near-death experience rocks your world.  It was clearer than ever to me that morning that ultimately, regardless of whether I attend college half an hour away or five hours away, whether I become an artist or an engineer, whether I do whatever, following God is the only thing of real, substantial value in this life.  I think I'd do well to remember that the rest of my whole life. 

8) Know who you are and what you're worth.  You are capable.  You are strong.  You are confident.
You got this.  Repeat positive affirmations about yourself over yourself.  There's enough negativity in the world coming at you, you don't need to add to it.  In the end, you have to live with yourself, no one else.  So. Be nice to others and especially yourself.  (also, being kind to yourself also means it won't always feel like you're being kind to yourself.  sometimes it's a hard love.) 

9) Confidence is key.  
But don't worry if you aren't who you want to be on day one.  Confidence/courage is built up by the small, everyday encounters and experiences we encounter that challenge us and cause our bravery to expand a little.  Small progresses create lasting and sure confidence.

10) Everything happens for a reason.
Yep.  Even if you don't know why or see why or possibly imagine why, trust the process.  It's a tried and tested one.

11) Let truth be your anchor in life. 
Because that's what's going to ground you after you spend hours scrolling on perfect Instagram feeds or after you come home from a long day/week and you're exhausted and your goals are looking a little foggy.  Truth should be your guiding light throughout life.  It's what'll keep you going in the dark and keep you grounded in the light.  It's what'll make you the person you were meant to be.

It's lowkey crazy I still have so many pictures from Utah haha.  One of my dreams is to travel and take pictures and stuff....can't imagine how many pictures I'd end up with then.

Got up at 3 AM on the last day in Utah for these pictures.  I don't regret it.  (Although I was so so sick for a straight week after coming home)

12) All you can do is try.

So don't be afraid.
If you fail, you learn from that and do better next time.  If you succeed, you continue persevering to become a better person.  Don't be afraid to fall, be afraid not to try.   A good life doesn't happen from hiding behind your comfort zones. 

13) The present is where life happens.

Thrive now.  This was a huge perspective change for me this year.   For most of this year, I was in this zone where I thought since my life sucked and I hated every part about it, I couldn't let myself say "I'm thriving." I thought that was a phrase that could only be used someday farther down the road when life was better.  Sweetheart, if I had died in that accident, there wouldn't have ever been another day to say that.  

Getting lost in the future (or the past) is no place to be if you have any intention of creating a good life for yourself.  You've got to love the life you have now.  You have to accept where you are.  Yes, work for change, work for a better future.  But don't get caught up in that.  Honestly? The way I see it, Lord willing I'll be here next year...and if He leads me to it, He'll sure lead me through it.  After all, I'm living on lent breath from Him.  

The only moment we're ever promised is the present one, so do what's right, find the positive, and smile.  You're alive.  Be happy for where you're at.  And try to thrive.

14)  Be humble. 

Humbleness is the one thing that's going to take you far in life, kids.  Pride will be the death of ya. 

15) Run your course.

I read somewhere this year: fear, worry, anxiety, comparison -- they're all weaknesses.  What do we do with weaknesses? Work on them, till they're no longer our weaknesses.  Focus on yourself, not others.  Focus on building yourself.   

There's always going to be people.  People we compare to, people we look down on, people we idolize.  Forget them.  Run your race.  That's all you got.  Your story is individually yours.  You're so special and unique because you're YOU.  God's got us.  

We moved in August (after a week's notice ha), so in a sense, it almost feels like there were two parts to 2018.  So many memories from our old house, man.

The last trip to NYC I took in November to visit TKC.  Actually won the photo contest there with this picture! 

16) Do what's right.  

Even when it hurts.  It's worth it. 

17) Submission, not addition.

I saw idea this in a movie recently.  As a Christian, Jesus is not an addition to our lives.  He's not some cute idea that we can plop onto the life we try to build for ourselves.  It's about submitting life -- the good, the bad, the ugly -- all to Him, and letting Him have His way with it.  Making those hard changes when needed, realizing and accepting the truth about who He says we are, and living like we believe it.

18) Keep God #1.

Everything else will fall in place, where they belong.   Give your dreams to Him, give your life to Him.  It's a daily process, but it brings peace.  Peace is an eternal anchor, regardless of your circumstances. 

So, hopefully, that made sense to you.  If not, I kind of get it! These are all just thoughts that I've had recently, and I wanted to write them down, so maybe, in twenty years I'll read over this and be like...oh yeah, that's what my life was like then! 

It feels so crazy to be writing a blog post again...like woah.  I've missed this.  I've missed you guys :')) 

Tell me, what was 2018 like for you? It was such a different year for all of us, and I'd love to hear about yours.  I'm so ready for a new slate in 2019 (also I'm gonna be graduating in 2019...so, um, that's crazy but also so! exciting! yayyyy!! fun!) 

xx
autumn 

16 Things I Learned in 2016

 2016 will soon be over.  I REALLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS, PEOPLE.  I just can't wrap my mind around this.  HOW EVEN?! If someone could just explain this to me, that would be great, thanks.

 This year was one crazy year, and I'm going to do a wrap up post later this week, but in this post I'm just highlighting some things I learned in 2016.  Let's just say that I went into this year with a lot of expectations and things that I thought would happen, but they didn't.  Surprise! Eh, not really.  And sure, it was difficult to accept sometimes; BUT, I think that through situations in life where we don't understand why stuff happens or when it seems like everything is falling apart, it's in those moments that we truly learn about the power of God.  And what a good Father He is.

1.  Sometimes God's plans don't match yours.  That's okay.  I feel like this is one of the biggest things I learned this year.  A lot of things didn't go the way I wanted them to, but through it all, my challenge was, can I still say God is good? (Jeremiah 29:11).

2.  There is a lot to be grateful for, even when you feel anything but grateful. There were a lot of times this year when I felt like things weren't going how I'd wanted them to, but I learned that even though there are hard times, there is still so much to be grateful for.  I am blessed so much more than what I deserve. 

3.  God is preparing you for greater things.  And this gives me hope for life.  Hope that 2017 will be a blessed-beyond-measure year.  Hope that will stand regardless of whatever happens in the future.  Because my all-knowing God is in control of my unknown future. 

4.  It takes a strong girl to go against her emotions and obey God's will. This one really inspired me this summer.  There are so many temptations and choices that we have to make, but deep down, we all know what's right.  It's hard sometimes to do it, but it is so worth it to do the right thing.  This video was so encouraging for me.

5.  One cannot truly live unless he knows what he is willing to die for. For me this one wasn't like, literal.  But the message of this quote was what really struck out to me.  How far am I willing to go for what matters? How far am I willing to sacrifice my life for God and the things that matter? Ouch.

6.  Stay close to Jesus for true happiness and joy. There are a lot of things in life that do bring me joy, but ultimately, I learned that I can't put my full hope in those things, because they will disappoint sometime. Jesus is the only one that will always bring me true happiness. 

7.  All of life is all for JESUS. I think I found this quote on someone's Instagram bio this summer, but it's just one of those things that like...change your life. I can't even begin on this quote. 

8.  Living original isn't easy. I got this planner this year, and it really made me think.  Living original is a really easy thing to say, but wow, actually living original is quite possibly one of the hardest things ever.  

9.  Empty vessels make the most noise.  

10.  People change, people stay.  Don't put too much stock in them.  God comes, and God stays.  He's the only One that will never change; He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  And that gives me hope.  This year I had to let go of people, and I didn't want to, but I'm trusting that God will make something beautiful out of this. He is faithful. 

11.  Being in the center of God's will is what makes life worth living.  I know other years, my ultimate goal  was to 'live in the moment' and enjoy the moments.  That is great, and I love doing that, but what really makes life worth living? It's not the feelings and emotions, truthfully; it's God.  When I know that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be -- in the center of His will -- that makes life worth living. 

12.  Your abilities or lack thereof don't define you before the One who set the galaxies into motion.  I am so, so thankful I learned this one.  God doesn't look at what I can or can't do, and for that I am beyond grateful.  I may not be the most talented person at one particular thing, but that's okay!  God knows my name.  He created me (Psa. 139:14), and He loves me.

13.  Everything in life is fleeting, and only God is eternal.  People put so much time and effort into the here and now, and that is great and wonderful, but there's more to this life than that.  All the things we worry about will one day be...nothing.  Eternity is forever, and I want to build for eternity. 

14.  Comparing myself to others is the most useless thing I could possibly waste my time with.  "Comparison is the thief of joy" is an old, but true phrase. Wherever you are in life, there are people around you.  And sometimes it's easy to feel insecure when there are other people who look better, talk better, communicate better, just do "life" better than you. I BEG TO DIFFER. You are talented; you are good at it.   You are perfectly made, and you are gifted with the talents and abilities that only you have.  Not her, or him, or them, or anyone else. God made you special.  So comparing yourself to others is definitely, definitely never worth your time.

15.  Don't smile or say sorry if you don't mean it. I am all for being kind and smiling and saying sorry when you mess up, but I think there comes a point when it can be overused.  It is important, but think first. It'll mean more to you, and others.

16.  God's will only. I think this phrase wraps up 2016 in three words for me.  SO MUCH went on this year, not only in my life, but like, IN THE WORLD.  There were some times when 2016 was a really difficult year to live through, but there were also times when it was genuinely beautiful.  And yet, through it all, Jesus is on the throne and He is King. 

 Thank God.

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So thank you all for reading this post!  You are absolutely fabulous.  What was 2016 like for you? This post was kind of like all the more serious things I learned this year -- but there were other things too. 
 (*cough* thebeautifulnessthatiswaffles ;) I'm going to be doing a 2016 wrap-up post later this week, so this isn't my last post for this year. 

So what are some things you learned in 2016? CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT 2017 WILL BE HERE IN LESS THAN ONE WEEK?? This is so crazy, guys.  I just can't believe this. Are you all excited for the new year?

 have an amazing day and don't forget to smile :) 

-autumn 

life is fleeting // a collection of my thoughts

Life is fleeting.  What a short statement.  What a...a...harsh statement.  I've just been thinking about this a lot lately, and I realized that I don't really do a lot of posts where I just...TALK about what I'm thinking about (probably because most of my thinking is done at night when I don't feel like typing and I don't really know how to put my words into cute eloquent thoughts) but you know what today I am so OH WELL HERE IT GOES.

No, I haven't just had any super tragic event happen in my life, but I think what made me really think about this a lot is the fact that...whether I honestly like it or not, time goes by.  Fast.  Faster than I realize.  The years merge into each other and fly by.  And sure, there are times when it seems like LIFE IS SO SLOW UGH but ha. ha. ha.  Really? No.  Time might seem to be going really slow for a short period of life, but I'm telling you, it doesn't really last.

Some day you'll look back (and to be honest, I feel like this is something people face in their mid-life crisis situation? UM YEAH NO WHAT.  Not me!! xD) and realize that time has gone by so much more faster than what any one of us realized.

Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different? -C.S. Lewis

 Isn't it funny.  So, so funny.  I was up for about an hour this morning before I got up, in the crack of dawn, and I was trying to pray.  But my mind kept wandering (which was really annoying actually).  Isn't if funny how back when I was in middle school (fifth grade is what I was thinking of specifically), the future seemed so big and open and vast? The future was--where I am today.  Because I didn't see past that.  I didn't see past where I am right now.  This was the future.

I am living -- right now -- in what was the future, but is now the present.

Wow.  That is so hard for me to grasp in my mind, honestly.  I know when I was younger, I'd always hear people talk about how "the older you get the faster time flies!" How exciting, I probably thought.  That wasn't the biggest thing I was worried about that time, okay.  But now? Am I older? Yes.  Have I grown up? Yes, probably.  It's called living life.  It's not an option.  (This is a whole other topic but I think "growing up" in this sense...is...like....life.  We all grow up...in that sense.)

So I'm older now.  I'm not in fifth grade.  And that future I'd think about then -- the few times I did bother to do that -- is here.  I'm in it.  I am living in the present.  And what am I going to do with it?  Ouch.  Looking back on the past is so easy.  The golden days.  When things were so much more brighter than they are now.  The future.  What is the future? It's tough. I can see the end of some things now...like school.  In fifth grade, I definitely wouldn't have thought about that.

But you know what I figured out? I'm here, right now.  And what's more -- TODAY IS A GIFT.  Today is a gift from God.  A gift that I will never get back.  I've been allowed -- He has granted me one more day to live for His glory on earth.

I can't waste this opportunity.  Not now, not ever.

Jeremiah 29:11 is a verse that I feel is quoted so, so much, but maybe it's because it gives people so much hope.  "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Wow.  God is so good.  I know for me that's one thing I will never be able to fully comprehend.

Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion,
    which cannot be moved, but abides forever. -Psalms 125:1

I am so blessed.  I have this chance to live.  And you know what? Life is fleeting.  But these days -- when they're the past -- they won't be totally gone. They will always be a part of me.  That won't change.    But right now I'm alive, right here, and I want to enjoy this gift of life that God has blessed me with.  I'm going to live in the moment with all I have for Jesus.  Every second that we can breathe is a undeserved gift.  No one is promised a tomorrow.  Today's state may not be tomorrow's. 

A week ago, I was wondering how it could be possible to live in the moment and enjoy the now that we are blessed with, when there is so much else going on around.  How is it even possible to live...life...when there's so much junk around us?

When we realize that life is fleeting, but God is not, and He is God.

God has blessed me...in the past, most definitely! but also RIGHT WHERE I AM.  I already said this, but I'll say it again.  I am so blessed. And I need to start realizing that, and living like it, instead of wasting this life. I think we've all heard the phrase "no regrets", and that is how I want to live my life.  With no regrets.  And for me, the way that I can do that is by looking to God...only.  He's the one that holds my life. And I'm living for Him.

Everything in life is fleeting, but only God is eternal. 

+++

SO HA NOT SURE WHAT THIS POST WAS BUT YES.  A rant, maybe.  More like all my thoughts piled into one post.  HOPEFULLY IT MADE SENSE TO YOU ALL.  What have you been thinking about lately? What do you think about this post? Isn't it crazy how fast life goes by?  God is good, though, that's all I can say.  What have you been doing lately? (AND have you ever tried coffee cake with coffee ice cream?  [yes this is important] IT IS SO GOOD.)

-autumn 

2k17

When I look back on this year and try to sum it up, the words that come to my mind are: continual change, growth, learning.  It was a hard year.  But it was also a good year.  Why? Because I learned.  And God was faithful.  Without this year, I would definitely not be the person I am today.  And for that, I'm thankful.

So today I want to summarize this year.  We're heading into 2018, great.  I just want to wrap this year up on a good note on the blog, so let's get into it.

So I went back and looked at my 2k16 post from last year.  Wow things change fast xD

My word for 2017 was "BELIEVE".  At the time I wrote that post, it was nice.  But quite honestly that phrase didn't really stick with me throughout this year.  Maybe it was just through the ups and downs of life and all that I kind of forgot it and went with the flow.

I learned a ton this year.  Found out who I really am.  And I fell in love even more deeply with my passions.  I have no idea how it'll all work out, but I know (to a certain extent) what I want to do with my life.  I have no flipping idea how I'll get there or if it'll play out like I want to in my head (probably not), but I know what I want.

Overall, 2017 was a year of growth.  And I'm still growing.  I have a long, long ways to go yet, but I'm getting there, one day at a time.  And that's all you can do for anything.  Moment by moment.  That's how you live  life.  (why do i feel like this post is so deep lolz)

Okay, let's be honest.  Writing this year wasn't the very best,  I'll say that much.  First and foremost, my novel that I had started working on around NaNo 2016 was what I had wanted to finish this year.  But as things turned out, the hard drive that had been on the computer I was writing it on malfunctioned and quit working.  SO we got a new hard drive and are pretty much still in the process of trying to recover what we can off of the old one.  We have a brand new memory now, so while that is nice to some extent, everything that I had (INCLUDING MY NOVEL) is gone.  *headdesk*

So looking ahead to 2018 writing wise, I want to get back into writing.  I'm part of a writer's group where we send short stories to each other one month and then critique them the next for each other, which is super nice because it really forces me to actually write every month.  Other than that, I'm going to really try to figure out what's going on with the old hard drive and retrieve my novel and HOPEFULLY finish writing it.  But we'll see.  I'm hoping that 2018 is a better writing year than this year was.

+ Skating became a huge, huge part of my life.  I know the rink, the staff, the ice so well now xD Almost like a second home haha!  Speaking of which, I just passed my first USFS skating test this past week! (thank you Jesus)

+ Home renovating became my newest hobby.  Fixer Upper started it :D I binge watched that show so much this summer, and let me just say that Chip and Joanna Gaines inspire me so much.  (Also now I'm deep in painting projects around my home.  Great.)

+ I got a new phone (major plus: it actually works!)

+ This summer taught me many lessons, but most importantly it taught me who I am and what I truly want to do with my life.  I'm chasing that passion with God's help now.  The hustle is real.
+ Solar eclipse happened!! 

+ I found confidence.  In Christ alone.  I learned so much this year, and I learned so much about what's really important in life.  2017 stretched me so much, but it taught me the best lessons.  Lessons that I needed.  I know who I am, and this life's not about me, it's about Christ.

+ I got new glasses because my old ones broke >_<
+ I finished reading the Bible the whole way through.

+ Got into gardening.  Don't get me wrong, I was always a gardener, but this year I got into it so much more.  It's super fun yo :D

+ Got my braces off

+ What happened to this country, man. What happened in pop culture.  If 2017 taught us anything, it should have taught us how much we need God. 

Blogging in 2017 was fairly good.  I kind of talked about it in my last post so there's not really a whole lot more I have to say, but sticking to a schedule really helped me out this year.  If you're considering starting a schedule for your blog, I'd 10/10 recommend it.  True, there were a few nights I was up at Wednesday night trying to finish the post before 12 P.M. and make it somewhat coherent, but most of the time it really helped me stay focused and make blogging more of a habit. 

 I already covered most of the stuff about blogging in my last post, but just to refresh I'm planning on posting 3-4 times a month in 2018.  I'm not going to post on a set date or anything; I just have the total amount of times a post will get up that one month.  SO YEAH.  I'm looking forward to it! The last few months of 2017 haven't been the greatest blogging-wise, so I'm hoping to step it up a little in the new year.  YEET.  Also, the new blog design inspires me a little more to actually blog so that's always a good thing.  

And, just for fun, my most popular posts this year were: (1) "My Top 8 Self-Publishing Tips" | Livy Jarmusch | Regal Hearts Book Tour (2) 24 Blog Post Ideas (For When You Have Nothing to Post) (3) The Behind the Scenes of a DIY-er's Life | Julia Ryan.  WHAT A YEAR.

2016 was a year of crazy change in my life, most of it hard.  2017 was a year of growth--learning to bloom where I'm planted and learning about what's really important in this life.  It was a kind of mundane year, but at the same time not.  But it was a good year overall. :)  

2018? At the moment, I don't know if anything that I "want" is going to happen this upcoming year, but I'm praying.  But 2018 holds some major milestones in my life (which will probably be documented on the blog LOL), and I'm a little nervous about them.  But it's good.  It's life.  It's growing (up).  So I'm just taking it one day at a time.  Making the most out of every day and staying focused on what's important and remembering the best is yet to come.  

xxx

 SO WHAT ABOUT YOU? If you had to describe 2017 in one word what would it be? What were some of your most memorable moments of this year and what are you looking forward to in the new year? 

adiós till next year amigos,

autumn 

stop dreaming. START DOING.

HI FRENS.  Today's post is something I just want to say.  It's something that's kind of been on the forefront of my mind for the past few weeks, and I wanted to cover it in a blog post, and hopefully inspire myself even more, and maybe even you in the process.

WHY WE NEED TO STOP TALKING & START DOING.

Because I procrastinate.  Sometimes I'm lazy.  And there are wayyyy too many times I don't do what I need to.  I know better.  I know what's right.  Here are 9 reasons why we need to h u s t l e.

1. There's a whole lot of life to live, work to do, things to accomplish.

One of the things that I hate most is people who live complacent lives.  WHY WOULD YOU.  Every day that I can get up, be healthy, breathe, and live life is such a blessing.  Life is a gift.  Every day is a chance.  But even more than that, life is so fleeting.  Work in the time you have.  Ben Franklin said it right: "Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today." 

2.  Creativity is freeing.

GUESS WHAT? Being creative can help you become even more creative.  Being creative inspires you, and when others see that, it inspires them. (win-win situation) Being creative helps us see the light side of life, the small things. 

3.  Working hard pays off later.

For me, the second part of this is what motivates me 9 out of 10 times.  IT WILL PAY OFF LATER, MY FRIENDS.  Yeah, it doesn't seem like it.  It's boring.  It's hard.  It's...work.  But LISTEN.  Next week, you'll be glad you took one hour of effort into that project.  And it will be a little easier to get back into the flow.  And eventually, when you reach your goal, you'll look back & realize YOU MADE IT.  YOU SURVIVED.  And you did it well.

4.  The world will pass you by if you sit there & watch it.

Yeah.  And one day, you don't want to look back on life and say, "I missed so many opportunities." NO.  Time waits for no man, frens!! (though let's be honest, I WISH IT WOULD.) The world keeps spinning.  Don't let the moment pass you by.

Which leads me to...

5.  SEIZE EVERY MOMENT.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow's not promised.  All we have is today.  Live every moment to the fullest.  Don't waste time.  Work hard for the future, and enjoy every single second of life.  Seize the moment. Make the most out of this gift of a day.

6.  Bring God the glory.

Because that's the reason for life.  One of my favorite quotes that I live by is: "All of life is all for Jesus." YES AND AMEN.  Eternity is forever, and one day, looking back, I want to be able to say that I did what God wanted.  That I lived out His will for me, because I am His child.  This is definitely the most important thing in life.

7.  There's a world out there waiting for what you have to offer.

That novel you're working on? PEOPLE NEED IT.  Even if it only impacts one life, IT! IMPACTED! ONE! LIFE! Yo, that's amazing! Your work, your art--there are people out there it's going to touch like nothing else did in their life.  You are an artist, and...

8.  NO ONE ELSE CAN DO YOU.  No one.  ABSOLUTELY NO ONE.

I hope I stressed that enough.  NOBODY.  Nadie.  Throw off your apprehensions and just do it. 

I've heard of a quote that said: "The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung...all because someone was too afraid to take that first step...or determined to carry our their dream.” Yeah.  You have a story, a mission, something to tell the world.  Don't waste it.

9.  Conquer today.

Everything I just talked about are things that I've told myself and tell myself on a daily basis.  Live to create and inspire.  Trust God.  Keep your priorities straight and work hard.  But most importantly, you are a person too.  You are not a machine.  Take time to do what feeds your soul.  Love life passionately.  Love what you do, do what you love.  Don't be your worst critic.

And one last thing--the creative life, being an artist, yep, it's all important, but the most important thing in life is how we relate to God.

“Only one life will soon be past; only what’s done for Christ will last.”

– C. T. Studd –

Live well, love God xx

+++

What are some other inspirational pieces you'd add to this list? Do you find it easy to motivate yourself? (if so please I beg you teach me your ways) What does your creative process look like? I want to hear about it! (also: telling others about your work makes you more motivated, trust me.) 

-autumn

life recently [3.9.18]

ahahaha I feel like this is a little old school because I used to posts like this alllllllll the time.   And, to be honest, it's been a minute since I've actually done of of these posts.  I kinda miss it, you know? When I go back and scan over all my posts, it's honestly so cool to see "life updates" from all these different stages and season in my life.  Wow.  That's where I was then.  Here's where I am now.  Change.  ASDJKLALSFHABQ

But that's life.  And I tell you -- growing up has got to be one of the strangest and most difficult things out there.  Though it makes it a lot easier when you know that all of your life is only for God.  Puts things in the right perspective.

r e a d i n g - OOOH man.  Reading has slacked so much for me recently.  But to be honest, I have read more this year so far than I usually have? Or maybe I've just read things that I actually enjoyed? I probably read two books so far this year that I've actually loved.  It's March.  AM I EVEN A BOOKWORM ANYMORE. I read some historical fiction by Ted Dekker that was decently good.  (i.e. the first book was good.  I've been in the process of reading the sequel for over a month.  so probably not as good.)  And I also read this historical romance novel? That sucked? Because romance is such a terrible genre? Yes?

But I definitely want to start reading more classic literature because I heard that will help for that SAT !!

w r i t i n g - HA.  okay.  So y'all know my novel is lost in the dark abyss of hardrive-failure-ness.  And it's still there.  I hope that we can get it out someday at least :,( IT'S SO FRUSTRATING.  You put all that plotting and planning into a novel...only to lost it.  bleh.  So I've just really lost a lot of motivation in general with that.  But I haven't stopped writing as a whole.  (oh no.  never.) I've been writing for the writer's group I'm part of, but that's pretty much it.  TRYING TO FIND THE MOTIVATION AGAIN YO.

b a k i n g - ahhh, wonderful baking.  I've been doing a fair amount of cooking/baking recently, though I have not been taking as many pictures of it as I usually do.  My camera has probably been untouched in several weeks, which is so sad honestly.   UGH.

t r y i n g - hard.  But sometimes, you have this vision of how you want your life to go.  You have this vision of things you want to do, things you want to accomplish within these time spans you set in your brain, things that you want to fall in place so you can live life.  But that doesn't happen.  And it doesn't make sense.  Like I said, growing up is crazy.  I know there's been a lot of silence on this blog over the past few months, and I don't want that to happen.  I love this blog.  So then I think back to why....why.  What have I been doing the last few months.  What's been going on in my life even?

Stress.

But that's not the word.  Yet it somehow manages to describe how I've been.  I have definitely not been stressed because of any busy schedule or anything.  In fact, it's probably the opposite.  Stress for the future.  Stress because oh no, suddenly in January of junior year I realize the SAT is a thing and it's really important and why has no one explained it to me.  Stress because college is coming up? Stress because I know that I need to go...it's important.  But stress because how do I get there? I've never prepared for a test like a SAT or ACT.  I don't know how to start.

But then...college in and of itself.  I have so many questions I can't begin.  My whole life I've heard people talk about college and bla bla bla and I've never really cared because it didn't affect me and wouldn't for a long time.  But then suddenly, it does.  worrying about the future = stress.  What college do I go to? Dorms? Community college? Out of state? Tuition? Moving OUT?!? I've never even thought about these things or planned for them in my whole life.  What do I do now? I have this vision for my life.  I know what I want to do, but I have no idea how to get there.  And suddenly I have this whole new chapter of life that I know I need but have no idea how to deal with.   Uncertainty.  w h a t am I going to do? Let alone the fact that two important classes you need to know for the SAT I've never even been taught and getting a great SAT score is a step in the right direction for any college plans.

And while I'm stressing over these things...life still happens.  This chapter of my life is only here once, and if I'm not embracing it, what's the point.  Life is about living in every single moment.  And if I can't do that because I'm worrying, that's not right.  And then there's allllll the million aspects to life: School, family, friends, God, health, my passions and interests (and so much more).  I'm just like

And hearing your peers rattle off their life plan like a planned script honestly doesn't really help.   Seeing people who seem to have it all together doesn't help. But people who, regardless of where they are, point you in the right direction? Those people are the real deal.

So when I look back over these past few months and summarize it all up...honestly, right now, I don't think I could be happy.  Who can have joy when there's so much practical stress?

except, i guess, when your faith in God is bigger than your fear.  And lol @ how easy that can be to write out, but how hard it is to live out.  Yet, for me, I know that at the end of the day, my life is dedicated to God, and He gave me this life.  It's not of my own doing.  So, ultimately...peace will win, fear will lose.  The going can be freaking hard, but Jesus.  His answers are life.  literally.

l i s t e n i n g - OHHHH.  Recently I've been listening to The Greatest Showman soundtrack.  The music is so beautiful.  Also Peace & When the Fight Calls. 

p l a n n i n g - lol the future but already covered that in great detail ^^^.  The future is in GOD'S HANDS.  Also, my family might go on a vacation this summer? WE HAVE NOT GONE ON A VACATION IN YEARS.  This could be amazing.  If we would, one thing I would love to maybe do is vlog it? Maybe? I might, MIGHT also go to Canada this summer.  That's very much up in the air, but we'll see!

t h a n k f u l    f o r -  pillow covers from H&M that are really cute and my room is slowly coming together.   the fact that this past weekend proved to me that I actually do have some real friends who pull through like real friends do.  WHAT A HUMBLING FEELING.  butter pecan ice cream & chocolate cake made with black cocoa powder (so dark).  target home decor shopping trips (they give me life design inspiration).  confidence that comes through Christ.  dresses.  warm days in winter.  snow days where we get one inch of snow LOL.  my phone.  laughter.  events.   

w a n t i n g    t o - Start! Planning! The! Garden! For! This! Summer!

l e a r n i n g - how to cut negative people and negativity from my life.

t h i n k i n g - about how I got up at 4:30 this morning for a school fundraiser >_< And actually, we were selling subs and once my group finished our route of delivering them, we stopped in at McDonald's and heard an employee saying she could just eat a sub.  So we stopped her and explained who we were and asked if she'd want to buy one.  SHE BOUGHT TWO.  And then we sold two more to her employees.  whaaaaa 

s k a t i n g - is going great & I love it!! I'm really thankful because yo Jesus helps in every area of life.  I got a new coach last month, and I've been learning a lot of new things which is amazing.  If there's one thing I've learned from figure skating, it's that dedication and practicing till you hate it is what helps you get better.  If I'm on the ice practicing something that I just! can't! get! but I do it again and again and still seem to not get it, the next day I'm on the ice, I'll be better at that element.  It's crazy, but it works.  Hard work and dedication make the dream work (to borrow the colloquialism).

r e a l i z i n g - I've missed doing posts like these :) 

+++ 

how are you, friends? 

xx
autumn