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find rest

world spinning
thoughts racing
why, God, why?
isn't that what everyone asks -- why?
i believed for miracles
and i know my pathetic faith 
was and is no match for Your endless might.
but right now
it's hard to see the end.
it's hard to see where this is going to go.
when the future is so unknown
and all my life feels as if it were nothing
God, i need You.
oh i need You so so much
return God. return to your servant.

my eyes and my head tell me one thing
reality agrees with them.
but is that really how it's going to end?
was everything hoped for...a dream?
it can't be, it can't be, Father.
this can't be the way it ends.
how am i supposed to go on?

God, my life is nothing without you.
and after these tears roll away,
and after my eyes blur over your Word.
God, You only remain.  You only are still there.
your love, God.   your boundless, faithful love.
why?  i don't deserve it.  not after the way i keep
going back to what i see by sight and not by faith. 
not after all that i do to You.
but that's who you are.  a good, good Father.
it's so hard.  and You know that better than anyone.
yet, it was only because of You that i was so blessed.
and now when my heart
fails, and i can't understand,
help me to trust your timing.
and that regardless of what happened
what's happening, and what's going to happen
to realize that the only reason i'm here
is because of You, God. 
Father, help me to trust You
and increase my faith. 

find rest, my soul, put your hope in God.  He only is our refuge and strength. 

18 comments:

  1. This was beautiful. And such a good reminder and encouragement for me! Thank you so much for writing and posting. <3

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    1. thank you for reading, Jesseca <3 i hope you are encouraged.

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  2. Lovely Autumn, and it really resonates with me ♥

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    1. thank you, opal ♥ it was something i needed to tell myself more.

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  3. Reminds me of the song Find Rest by Francesca Battistelli. <3

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    1. haha, yeah, i've been listening to that song non-stop the past few days. it inspired me.

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  4. Beautiful!<3 Love the photos!

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  5. This was so beautiful, Autumn:)

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  6. I need to pray + hear this prayer over and over again. So vulnerable so real and so beautiful :') Thanks for sharing, autumn xxxx

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    1. YES. amen, olivia. vulnerable is a good word to describe it. i'm not in control; God is.

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  7. Oh Autumn. This. This is what I've been praying, feeling, thinking lately. God is amazingly faithful. thank you for sharing this. :)

    Also, pretend I said what Olivia said.

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    1. He is, He surely is.
      haha, right xD

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  8. amen amen and amen again <3
    oh, this was much needed today darling. thank you for sharing. our God is a good, good Father xx

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    1. and amen <3
      you are such a dear, liz ♥

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  9. these words reach deep, deep down into the inner being where we wait expectantly for an invisible God to make Himself known. they reach down and touch the heartstrings of my longing and desires and dependency and inadequacy. these words express the doubt, the wonder, the awe, and the unexplainable joy that roots within us even amidst disappointment and confusion. you really don't know how much i connect with these words.

    and you somehow made me abandon my usual taste for proper capitalization. this, of anything, should tell you the depth of your words.

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  10. these beautiful words are exactly what i needed recently! thanks for sharing Autumn

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